One of the most frustrating and frightening things to do is acknowledge how you’ve been harmed, by yourself and by others; and learning how to properly heal from that experience. It takes a certain amount of strength combined with some sleepless nights to overcome some of our biggest adversaries. Though painful and confusing, the reward of healing yourself has the power to transcend all of the things you thought would defeat you. The painful emotions we feel – anxiety, depression, loss, shame, guilt, grief, dismay, etc. – are all part of the human experience. But It is up to us to find ways to maintain balance and heal ourselves. But how?
EMOTIONS:
One thing to keep in mind, from the powerful words of Osho, emotions are not permanent. In his 2007 self-help book, “Emotional Wellness: Transforming Fear, Anger and Jealousy into Creative Energy”, he notes that emotions are called “emotions” because they have movement. The word “emotion” comes from the word “motion”, movement. Although these emotions are temporary, something has to trigger its shift. We experience a multitude of emotions that are all triggered by something or someone. Our emotions are constantly manipulated by outside influences both consciously and subconsciously. What happens at work or school, what we see in the media and social media, and our interactions with people in general all have the ability to alter how we feel, if we allow it.
GRATITUDE:
Knowing that feelings of anxiety, depression, loss, shame, guilt, grief, dismay, etc, are all temporary and can be influenced by entities outside of both our body and spirit is key to our healing. Like all great movements, healing ourselves takes time, dedication and love. One of the greatest emotions we can express during this process is gratitude. This is our “emotion that relates to our ability to feel and express thankfulness and appreciation” (Kamen, 2015). Spiritual leaders and psychologist globally speak of the powerful effects of practicing gratitude. There is a special cathartic release you feel during a worship service at your church or spiritual place, thanking God (or whoever you believe) for all of the good (and all of the bad) that has happened in your experience. Scientifically, gratitude is becoming “an important part of psychology and positive psychology research” (PPP, 2017). Gratitude is more than action, from a psychological perspective, it’s a feeling of deep appreciation for someone or thing that creates long lasting positivity.
EFFECTS OF GRATITUDE:
Effects of gratitude include improvement on overall sense of well-being, strengthen interpersonal relationships, heightened optimism, stronger self control and, better physical and mental health. One of my personal favorite aspects of gratitude is the cost. Gratitude can be free with a simple thank you or pricey with a gift to a family member or loved one. Expressing and practicing gratitude is selfless and its reward is far greater than what it cost to express it. Now, if you are someone like me who says thank you to everyone but yourself you’re probably thinking, “wait, I do all of the things but something is not adding up,” fret not, I have a remedy.
How to Practice Gratitude: 30 Day Challenge
1. Say thank you to the power you serve.
2. Say thank you often, especially to those that serve you.
3. Every morning, take a couple deep and intentional breaths. Think of the things you are grateful for. Be mindful and present in this practice.
4. Maintain a gratitude journal, note 3-5 positive experiences from the day and go in depth about these experiences and how it made you feel.
5. Practice 5-10 minute mediations focusing on gratitude.
6. Write a letter, email, send a text to someone who has positively altered your lived experience.
7. Abstain from gossiping, complaining, judging, side-eyeing for a day.
8. Go on a social media detox
9. Daily 15 min gratitude free writes focusing on where you are in this present time and what you are grateful for.
We have the power to shape our brains through our thoughts and the ability to manifest change. The more aware we become about interpreting our experiences as positive, the more this perception will spread to other parts of the brain. The effects of practicing gratitude can train the brain to be more cognizant of the abundance in our lives rather than focused on the things we lack. This perception can be the motivation you need to fulfill projects, dream bigger and live happier and fuller lives.
Feature Image: Flo Ngala