Don’t Be Discouraged or Distracted

2023 was a transformative year for all of us. Something spicy was in the air as the collective tweeted, tik tok and instagramed our way through some of our toughest seasons. In the midst of pure madness, I saw some of the most beautiful engagements, baby showers, weddings, promotions, new jobs, new homes, new cars, etc etc. Accomplishment is just as present and sometimes more than, tribulation if we just lean further into it. I personally was reminded of that as I scrolled through my camera roll, clearing out the old and rejoicing over the new. 

Being reminded of the goal and life’s goodness requires discipline before habit if it is not natural. The discipline is not in pretending to be positive, forcing yourself to be happy, or stopping yourself from crying. The discipline is allowing yourself to feel the things you feel and still choosing your goals and operating in the goodness of it. It means after you’ve been denied, distracted and confused, you give yourself permission to be disappointed but use that negative energy as fuel to keep going. Energy, negative or positive does not die, it can only be transformed. 

It is very easy for us to become pessimistic. Saying what you desire won’t happen requires zero effort and gratification you would not believe. If you can guarantee something you want won’t manifest you can sit back and sulk in peace; having had zero things you want come to pass. Optimism requires effort and fearlessness. It challenges you to operate in the value required to have what you desire. If you don’t find your work, ideas, thoughts, efforts valuable enough to attain your desired outcome you’re doing it all wrong. 

Here’s how to do it right: 

Don’t be afraid to do the right things wrong. You are only afraid of looking stupid because you care more about outside opinion than your perception of self. If every time you make a mistake you call yourself a loser, you are a loser. If your validation of self is predicated on being perfect you will always be a failure. If your concern is looking stupid in front of other people you might as well perform for the circus since you’re so concerned about the opinions of an audience. 

Do the things that validate YOU.  If your confidence is tied to being better than other people then your self worth is tied to what you do and not who you are. When people start out doing you, faster than you and easier than you, where is yourself worth going to go? Right down the New York sewage system in one flush.  While you’re competing with others you are loooosssing your already shallow self esteem. If you don’t walk in alignment with your purpose, your purpose will become competition, trying to keep up or get a head. There’s always someone better than you with that mindset. 

Align with your highest, most comfortable self. Be at peace with your journey. This completely requires acceptance and appreciation for who you are. This will give you the discipline over the motivation to go after what you want. Motivating factors are triggers that happen outside of you, being disciplined is a character trait. Discipline is also actively choosing to work at what you want even when you are not motivated to do so and/or staying aligned with motivating forces to keep you on your path. Only pour positivity into your mind, body and spirit. The energy you need for discipline is protected with aligning with all things good. 

Stop talking. Shut the Hell up about your goals and dreams around people that haven’t done/did what you’re about to do and can’t help you. I don’t care if you love them, some people can not control their subconscious fears and project their insecurities onto you. They can mean you well but intent does not negate impact. And let’s be real, some people are haters. You could be sleeping with a hater right now, that person needs to be the last to know of your plans if you want to advance in peace. Be protective of the purpose and vision you have for yourself. What people can’t have they do want to steal. And what people don’t know, they can’t attack. 

Tell people to f* off. Your progress will be evident and people won’t like it. Them not liking it doesn’t make you a bad person and it definitely doesn’t mean you should stop. You telling them to take a hike when they make you uncomfortable doesn’t make you a bad person. Exercise that throat chakra as liberally as possible. If someone is making you uncomfortable, make them uncomfortable too. The more you give people grace, cut people some slack and take the high road in the face of disrespect the more you internalize their negativity and make you less confident. That is the distraction. Send it back and them the on their way!

And rest. Protecting and strengthening your nervous system does require rest. For five months I took a break from work, writing, fitness, and just liiiivveddd. I went to museums, movies, took on new creative projects, took on fencing, concerts, dinners, traveled, shopped, read, danced,  had many spa days. I did everything in the spirit of rest so I can be inspired and keep going.Take as many breaks needed to propel you forward, kinda like a slingshot. The only time to go backward is to sling yourself forward. (and no not to that one person you blocked a year ago.)

How are you keeping yourself motivated and disciplined this year? Let me know in the comments. Me personally, I am allowing myself to LIVE my damn life even more and telling the haters to kiss my bl- *wifi lost connection*

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